jesuskirkandvinny:

Kirk’s Self-Portrait: Captain on Can!

While Jesus continues to hold our TV hostage, Kirk decided to fight fire with whatever-you’d-call-reading-a-Jesus-book-while-dumping is.  Subtlety may not be one of Kirk’s finer points but you have to admit he’s effective.

Last night, Kirk got pissed when Jesus forced us to watch baseball (or as Kirk calls it, “a dumb, non-flying guy’s quidditch.”) on TBS.  Kirk watched a few innings, yelling “borrring” ever third or fourth pitch, and then stormed off to his bedroom mumbling something about “it’s on.”  Great.  Another Kirk and Jesus Feud.  Collateral damage: Me!

This is what I live with: Jesus on a non-stop Conan vigil; Kirk plotting revenge as only he can (pun intended!).

yesssss!

jesuskirkandvinny:

Downtown Los Angeles.  The Nickel Diner.

It’s funny how some of your worst days can turn into your best nights.  Jesus had to go to court in downtown Los Angeles to settle a public urination charge.  I’m telling you, those robes are nothing but trouble.  Anyway, a couple hours and a probation later, we found ourselves on Main Street…hungry as we’ve ever been.  That’s when we found The Nickel.

Believe it or not, they have this Maple Bacon donut and, hell…they had us at Bacon!  I had two and I’m pretty sure I started tripping.  Kirk actually fed Jesus one of the donut holes and I swear the room started to spin.  Then we sat down on the dessert tray, surrounded by homemade pop tarts and ding dongs.  I felt like I was in a HR Pufnstuf flashback.  It was awesome!

Kirk said he hadn’t been that turned-on around dudes since he was partying in the grotto of the Playboy Mansion with James Caan and Lee Majors.  Like I’ve said a million times before…nobody ruins a moment quite like Kirk!

Downtown LA is pretty weird…I mean where else can you get a bacon donut and some crack on the same block?  To which Jesus answered, “um…in Heaven.”  And the whole place busted out laughing.  I mean, he’d know, right?

jesuskirkandvinny:

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.  Jesus is Shaq.  I’m Conan.

Now I don’t want to get into the whole Leno-Conan slap-fest, but suffice it to say that Jesus and I have been Conan fans for years.  We are so down with Coco!

Tonight, Conan was getting nostalgic about some classic moments he’s had over the last seven months.  This is when he and Shaq had a dance off. I have no idea exactly what Shaq is doing but both he and Conan fell in sync like some kind of  two-man push-me-pull-you.  It was both weird and wonderful.

Kirk never came out of his bedroom.  He’s a Leno fan through and through.  He still thinks “Iron Jay” was the funniest thing ever created.  Yup, that’s his comedy bar: “Iron Fucking Jay.”  Kirk likes his comedy like he likes his women…not very smart and with a big chin.  Bam!  I’d like to take credit for that but that’s all Jesus.

Jesus’ Ham Streak hits 17 straight days!

jesuskirkandvinny:

The Matrix.  I’m The Agent.  Jesus is Trinity.  Kirk is Neo.

You might notice that Jesus isn’t using a gun.  He hates them; and even if he didn’t, it’s not like we have one just laying around the house.  That’s a fish.  Jesus is blowing me away with a fish.  He’s not too comfortable working with props.

Here it is…Dom Deluise’s Mom’s Meatballs:

2 pounds ground chuck
1/2 pound ground pork
1 1/2 cups flavored Italian Bread Crumbs
4 eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup fresh parsley-chopped
1/2 cup grated cheese
1 Tablespoon olive oil
2-4 cloves of garlic chopped very fine(5 if you’re my mom)
1 minced onion
1/2 cup pine nuts(optional)

Place all ingredients in a large bowl…Mix thoroughly.
Make your meatballs.
Fry gently in olive oil until lightly browned…
or put in oven on a tin foil on a cookie sheet and bake for 30 minutes @ 350 degrees.
Gently place in your own HOT pasta gravy and cook on medium-low heat for 1 hour.
MANGE!